Italia!

Ten Days (or so) later...such a long time. Milano. Apparently a lot of Italians aren't much for it. Larger, congested, polluted, fashioncentric, busy. Being fans of NYC, we managed to thoroughly enjoy it. A lot of that is thanks to our wonderful hosts Francesca and Michele. Francesca was great at steering us towards the fun and interesting things to do/try/eat. 

Milano Central Station

Milano is pretty easy to navigate through with three types of public transport; buses, metro, and cool early 20th century era trolleys (trams). Just mind the controllers checking for tickets. We also spent a lot of time walking around seeing whatever we wandered by (best way, anywhere). 

The city centre is dominated by the Duomo di Milano, which is the 4th largest cathedral in the world. It's huge, and elaborately decorated. The Madonnina spire is 108m high while it can hold 40000 people. Twain and Wilde had conflicting thoughts on it, I'm somewhere in the middle, leaning towards Twain.

While walking around we spied all manners of interesting things. Lots of suits. Italian men take their suits very seriously. Great parks. They are everywhere. Peacocks of all shapes, sizes, and colors (and none of them are of the avian variety). There was even a good amount of irony; as an example while we were walking down a street there was a man with no feet propped against a store asking for change, the store? Foot Locker (Funny overrules f'd up). There was a church in the centre that had apparently only been given a certain amount of room to build and that didn't include enough room to make the traditional axis form so they instead made a false apse so that as you face from the west front to the east end the dimensions look like its set in the proper church form. When you view the east end from either side of the transept however, you see that the architect pulled a pretty sweet fast on you and the apse is only about a foot deep.

  These shoes cost about a hundred euro's. And they're chocolate. Real chocolate. No they didn't have them in our size.

Carhartt Couture? Hey Montana, you're fashionable in Milano.

"So you're saying if I step here on the bull's balls and spin on my heel, what'll happen? Oh that's right, I look like an asshole"

The surprise Milanese rainshower. Which lead to:

Retreat coffee!

There was also much nightime fun to be had. We went to a friend of Francesca's housewarming party and had a blast. Lot's of fun, friendly people that made us feel all the more welcome by speaking english with us because we definitely have a language deficit. We were informed that the Milanese think Fernet Branca is shit. Drink Braulio instead. It's sweet, but not as sweet as Branca Menta. There apparently was some absinthe being mixed with coke. A little less than tasty. I skipped the coke. Tons of laughs, lot's of dancing, and many smiles. 

The next night we went to a pizzeria that was delicious AND all you can eat, one whole pizza at a time. With one caveat; the pizzas are dealer's choice. Meaning, the pizza maker gets to choose toppings you get. Our favorite was the eggplant, prosciutto, and sour cream. There was some boasting on our Italian friends end to turn it into a competition, saying things like "I'll go to the hospital if I have to!" So, we thought we might be in trouble for a second. Not to worry, italians are apparently all bark, no bite. They were done four rounds in. We went seven. AND a half. Just for emphasis. After, we sipped Fernet for a bit (WHAT? sipping Fernet?) before (unsuccessfully) trying to walk it off going to the Colonna, a square that was a Roman market. Complete with roman columns. It's a place that people go to and buy street beer and booze and just find a good place to sit and hang out and co-mingle. And the drunk guy that usually shows up to these places and does some really dumb, drunk shit that messes up everyone's good time? Well, every fifteen minutes or so, he would start a slow clap. And people would clap. And cheer. Very subtle drunk guy, very subtle indeed. He even managed to start a clap at about midnight, so I got an ovation (indirectly) for my birthday.

Michele arrived the next day from his parent's in the north, his bf Flavio came and the rest of the day was spent cooking and eating pizzas. Or, more correctly, Francesca cooked and we helped a little. And ate

Then: We ate like kings!!!! (And despite stereotypical American behavior, we did not put ketchup on anything)

(earlier) We OF course had gelato's. Because no birthday, NAY, no DAY, is complete without gelato. Period

The pizza was de-freaking-licious. The awesomeness had was better. Thanks again

The next day, we went out for some birthday kareoke fun-havings. Mission accomplished. We (Francesca) found a kareoke bar. It was a cross between our finest hour (international kareoke, Estefanos' first time behind the mic, good drinking, great times) and not so fine. Of course we drank Jameson. The bar also serves a 9% dopplebock in a one liter mug. They call it the "Bulldog." We got MURDERFACED. We did a fine job singing and dancing, laughing and having a good time. Estefanos sang "Johnny B. Goode" but the prompter was a little off so it came out with a lot of "GO GO GO GO GO GO's" J.D. and I, of course sang "I want it that way" and individually I sang "You've lost that loving feeling" and Diz did "Gangsta's Paradise" 

We sang. We danced. We drank. And we blacked out. Bad. And there's pictures. That's bad. Funny bad. Like Andrew Dice Clay. Or was he bad funny? Whatever. I woke up looking at Diz in his shirt from the night before and his chonies curling up under his towel. And he did the same when he woke and saw me. Sans towel. Definite "ugh, what the hell happened?" moment. I'll skip the majority of the details but we, this is secondhand information and therefore highly unreliable, had hard time getting home. Emphasis on hard. The kind of hard where the taxi driver wanted a deposit hard. This, again, is heresay but Diz was a limp, smiling noodle and I...was staring at walls.

 As you can see by those smiles, we're already a few in.

 I apparently am unsure of what's going on, but Estefanos is feeling it.

 Cin cin!

 Go Johnny go, go

 go go go go go go go!

 I got soul...

 ...and I'm superbad

 "What's going on in the kitchen, but I don't know what's cookin'"

 Really good at making bad decisions

 Ooooh Flavio

 Flavio! Flavio! Flavio!

 I want it that way

 "Cause I want it that way"

 That's a handsome beer ya got there feller (Michele)

 That's a handsome feller ya got there beer (beer)

 Who's cuter now?

 Aaaaaaannnddd...

 Hey! What's that on the floor Diz?

 Yo dawg, that shit was funny as hell

 Hey! check out JD getting home>>>>>

Our gracious hosts, and friends, (and sports) Francesca and Michele... But where the f is Flavio?

 Ya heard?

Cheers to a great night.

And a rough next day of travel.

After bidding Milano a fond farewell, we went to spend a couple days in quiet Modena. It was such. Nice area and nice people. It was mostly nice because, we got to relax a bit. Modena, and it's surrounding areas are famous for the cars of Ferrari, Lamburghini, Maserati and Ducati motorbikes as well as their cheese and basil. The cheese and basil was fantastic.

After we made our way to Galiga, which is nestled into the hills of Tuscany northeast of Firenze where we've been staying with some awesome people in a neo-bohemian living situation in a two hundred fifty year old farmhouse. But that's a story for another time (blog)

http://youtu.be/3khTntOxX-k?t=13s

Stay Awesome